By the time you read this, Lord willing, my eldest daughter will be married. July 25 is the date I walk down the aisle to give my little girl away. I’ve never been the father of the bride before, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to be a mess.
Though my parenting is not done, it will change. I am releasing her into a new commitment that trumps all other human relationships…that of husband and wife.
I’ve no doubt made a ton of mistakes as a parent, but I thought I’d share with you a belief on parenting that I’ve tried to honor as a follower of Jesus.
Being a Godly parent starts with who you are and who you are becoming.
This statement outweighs any and all parenting philosophies, books, or guidelines. Be focused on this first and your children will reap the benefits.
I believe up to ninety-nine percent of the actions you perform that influence your children are unpremeditated actions. There are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of them every day. Your facial expressions, your posture, your tone of voice, your gestures, and your reactions to the dog, the weather, the slipping clutch, the dripping faucet, the late spouse, and the TV news, are among a hundred other spontaneous expressions of who you really are each day.
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (NIV) says, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down, and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
Parenting is a WAY OF LIFE! It’s who you are.
The only parenting they catch is your response to real life situations. Real begets real, not infallibility. Even the best of parents can lose a child to a life of bad decisions, but authentic joy in God is the most likely to win them. The startling truth is if you want your children to find deep fellowship with God, you should make it your life’s passion to enjoy deep communion with Him. If God is not seen to be your true satisfaction, it is unlikely that 18 years of church-going will make your kids think God is worth much.
Ever notice how easy it is to praise things that you enjoy? Whether it’s a good meal, a nice outfit, a touchdown by your favorite team, or when your child has success in an activity, praise comes naturally.
That’s why Scripture so often talks about enjoying the Lord (Philippians 4:6;
Psalm 37:4, 100:2, 32:11, 16:11).
In other words, genuine heartfelt praise is not artificially tacked on to joy. And without the heartfelt satisfaction of knowing God, our attempts at praising Him fall flat. And our kids see the inconsistencies.
Your most positive impact on your children is your growing (not perfect) satisfaction and dependence on God. Guaranteed.
Posted on
Sun, July 26, 2009
by Pastor Bill Towne