Nature of Marriage Preparation Counseling at RHCC:
The marriage preparation lay counseling ministry at RHCC is a process of spiritual guidance and encouragement. Our lay counselors are married couples who are trained in basic couples counseling skills, and to debrief relationship assessments. They are not professional counselors. Engaged couples will generally receive up to six counseling sessions prior to their wedding and two follow-up sessions within their first year of marriage. This process is intended to be relationship oriented and is focused toward assisting engaged couples to explore areas that are important for their growth and development in establishing a healthy marriage. RHCC believes that God designed marriage; therefore, a strong emphasis is placed on the personal application of biblical principles to individual lives in the context of a lifelong commitment to one another.
Requirements for Participation
1). Engaged couples will be “equally yoked,” that is, they share the same beliefs about God. (Examples: believer & believer or non-believer & non-believer).
2). Bride and Groom must abstain from physical intimacy. Sex is a gift from God. He is the One who created it! Therefore, we must follow God’s directions alone regarding our sexuality. The Bible gives us clear instructions for sex within the parameters of the marriage relationship (Hebrews 13:4). God’s Word also gives us clear warnings and consequences when sex is used outside of marriage
(1 Thessalonians 4:3-8).
While many unmarried couples who come to Rolling Hills Community Church are honoring God by abstaining from sexual intimacy, many do not fall into this category. Couples who are physically intimate are asked to covenant with RHCC to abstain from their sexual relationship until their wedding day, understanding that this is God’s best for their marriage relationship.
3). All engaged couples will begin their marriage preparation counseling at least four months prior to their wedding date in order to complete the process.
Counseling Procedure:
RHCC does not charge for marriage preparation counseling. However, the engaged couple will be required to pay $120 to cover the cost of scoring two relationship assessments (Prepare/Enrich and Taylor Johnson), and of the book and workbook they will use titled Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts or Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts. Counseling sessions commonly occur on weekday evenings or on weekends, and run about 50-60 minutes per session. These sessions are scheduled with the lay counselors directly. The lay counselors should receive at least 24-hour advance notice in the event that a scheduled appointment needs to be canceled.
(Please note: lay counselors may terminate the counseling relationship AT ANY TIME, and refer the couple to their Sponsoring Pastor, and/or professional counseling resources should they deem this necessary for the well-being of the couple).
Who does the marriage preparation counseling?
The marriage preparation counseling will be done with a married couple who has received special training and who exemplifies a Christ-centered marriage. The counseling couple is open and honest about sharing their experiences in their own marriage.
The engaged couple will work with the same counselors for the full duration of their marriage preparation counseling. Although these counselors are specifically trained in the area of marriage preparation, they are not licensed professional counselors. They have chosen marriage preparation counseling as their ministry at RHCC. One of the goals of the ministry is to provide all engaged couples with an opportunity to establish a mentoring relationship with their counseling couple, thus encouraging their present and future connection to the Rolling Hills Community Church family.
Supervision:
A qualified marriage and family therapist supervises couples serving as marriage preparation lay counselors on a regular basis. Supervision takes place in a small group setting, and is oriented toward the counseling process and issues raised during counseling. Every effort is made to protect the identity of the couples during this time.
Limits of Confidentiality:
Every counseling session is strictly confidential. Information received from an engaged couple will not be released to anyone without that couple's written permission. However, all engaged couples will sign a form that gives their counselors permission to exchange information with the Sponsoring Pastor. In addition, the following exceptions do apply and will be reported to the lay counselors’ supervisor:
1. Statements that abuse of a child, or elderly or disabled person, has or will take place.
2. Statements that reflect intent to harm self or others.
3. Information needed to facilitate treatment in a medical emergency.
4. Information considered pertinent to the supervision process.
5. Information considered pertinent to the counseling process and shared with the Sponsoring Pastor.
What do we talk about during the counseling sessions?
You will discuss many subjects throughout your time together. These subjects include marital roles and responsibilities, skills for communicating and resolving conflicts, realistic management of finances, your sexual relationship, your family of origin, and much more! Your relationship strengths, as well as areas that need growth, will be discussed.
Although the program is designed to cover certain topics, your counselors will design your time together to fit your individual needs. Details of the six sessions are discussed during your initial interview with your Sponsoring Pastor. Homework assignments are given prior to each session to enhance your understanding and promote discussion of the material.
What should we expect from the marriage preparation counseling experience?
You should expect to be challenged, strengthened, educated, and better prepared for your upcoming marriage. You will probably experience some laughs, some tears, and some pleasant surprises!
You should complete your marriage preparation counseling having identified some problem areas, learned some new marriage skills, and most importantly, having gained a more realistic expectation of what marriage will be like!
May God richly bless you individually, and as a couple, as you embark on this exciting journey together!
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate. Mark 10:7-9 (NIV)